I woke up one day

"Why did you stop taking your medications?"a very concerned old man who I considered was the geeky type back in the day, replied.

"I woke up one day and decided I was going to wash the bedding. I chose my high school rainbow comforter instead of my down one. Just how I woke up one day and decided to not take my medications. I just want to go the natural way, and worrying over my meds made me more of a mess. I knew that from day one, and I told you that!" I cleared my throat. Things were turning into the wrong direction quickly. Deep breaths, and control. "I own this body. I can control this body. I just don't need antidepressants." I finished.

"Well, I checked your thyroid and...
(To be con may 9th)

What a mess

Fear creeps into my mind as I sit upon the wooden planks. They let me get by without saying much. I simply cannot talk. Or do I refuse to talk? Since I've had this privledge all my life engraved in me. They see that I'm broken and let it slide. I can't even imagine what I look like to people. Sure, I had my share of break downs. The feeling to escape, heavy breathing, panic battle zone enters my mind worrying about who I am as a person. I can't escape my social anxiety cage. Of what they expect of me, what they need from me, what I need to give back to them.

To whom it may concern:

My life has come to be such an intoxication. Goals and dreams of destination. Spiraling down this tube of desperation. The people I've come to know are paths beyond the chosen. Drink up all the wine, I cannot wait for judgement day. How can a gypsy sneak her way through this despicable cave? A gentleman never asks, and the lady never tells.

I'd assume she'd make it out very well. Shine bright like a diamond. The closing of  a door can only mean an opening of another. For the flap of a butterfly's wing can manifest into something as great as a hurricane. Waves the height of New York skyscrapers barreling down on weak wooden houses of the South, are chances of something great before us. A new paved land to invent and renovate for the good. A fresh blank page awaiting funky fresh ideas created by you.

You, the victory you won in a battle of millions. The you that knows you have a ton of friends, counting family that you can lean on when you are in trouble or in despair. The you that knows that people make mistakes and you can't please everyone else. The you that knows if you want something you have to go out there and get it.

P.S. You must give love to receive love.

Sincerely,
Anon

Gore and Ships

I pace back and forth among the kitchen tile. My headache was growing upon my shoulders. I reach up and grasp my shoulder muscle to relieve the pain. I begged the lord for a cigarette. The pressure was getting too much for any of us to bear. My anxiety was through the roof. Any minute I could burst, and grab the nearest sharp object. My emotions would be masked by all of this insanity and plunge that sharp object right into the first person  who crossed my path. Picturing the blood spilling out of their mid-section put a smile on my face.