I woke up one day

"Why did you stop taking your medications?"a very concerned old man who I considered was the geeky type back in the day, replied.

"I woke up one day and decided I was going to wash the bedding. I chose my high school rainbow comforter instead of my down one. Just how I woke up one day and decided to not take my medications. I just want to go the natural way, and worrying over my meds made me more of a mess. I knew that from day one, and I told you that!" I cleared my throat. Things were turning into the wrong direction quickly. Deep breaths, and control. "I own this body. I can control this body. I just don't need antidepressants." I finished.

"Well, I checked your thyroid and...
(To be con may 9th)

What a mess

Fear creeps into my mind as I sit upon the wooden planks. They let me get by without saying much. I simply cannot talk. Or do I refuse to talk? Since I've had this privledge all my life engraved in me. They see that I'm broken and let it slide. I can't even imagine what I look like to people. Sure, I had my share of break downs. The feeling to escape, heavy breathing, panic battle zone enters my mind worrying about who I am as a person. I can't escape my social anxiety cage. Of what they expect of me, what they need from me, what I need to give back to them.