The Thoughts

There's a sickening in my stomach. It makes me wonder. The things that I don't understand. The high. Fuzzy and dizzy again. What shall I do? I'm going to get sick. Words on paper don't make sense. My poor tired heavy head longs to rest. Reality come again another day. I want to see something radical. Something I've never seen before. Bring me to your next level. The taste so bitter I could gag. Chew Chew Chew. Is this the reason why I have come to you today? Thoughts of wavering, wandering guitar riffs. The dungeon is calling my name. I have no name to be called. Scream. Shout. Cry. Yelp. Confusion. Twisted tongues. Numb to the fingertips. Death. Blood. Guts. Torture. Damn aspirin.

The rainbow road crosses my path. Turn right they tell me. I don't want to conform into this everyday path. Left, I choose, left. Shake me awake into a field of flowers. Miles of daisy stare me right between the eyes. Bright blue skies hover over my eyes. Smiles in the clouds point me towards the East. I lift my arms to feel the breeze run through my flesh. Cool air send shivers down my spine. I remember the one thing that cuts me down every time. "You're not the prettiest girl". My soul ices over. Dark thoughts spin. 

I'm strong. I have strength. I have power. Queen, perhaps not. Princess, not even close. Just an average little girl, ha! Wouldn't you like to think so. There's something good in all of us. I know. I just don't believe. What is believing anyways? Some little faith on something that may or may not be true. Truth. Is there even a real truth? Critics will always find some falsehood in your beliefs. Those dumb fucking critics. Hateful. Evil. Vindictive.

My world. My circus. Use it to my advantage. Lock me away in some hospital. No windows. No doors. No escape. Yes, indeed, then I would lose it. Not even a pen to scribble the walls black.

Fuzzy
Dizzy
Confusion